BROTP Starters:
- “YO DIPSHIT GET OVER HERE!”
- “How many times do I have to tell you not to knock? Get in here loser.”
- “No it’s not okay! I will beat their asses for hurting you!”
- “What do you mean no more checkers?”
- “Oh just make yourself at home why don’t ya!”
- “Do you need a hug?”
- “Can we just stay home and watch sad movies and eat ice cream?”
- “You are the biggest loser I know and that’s why we’re friends.”
- “Is that my sweater that’s been missing for a month?!”
- “Are you crazier then usual or is it just me?”
- “Get back here and love me!”
- “I’m not okay…I just…want a hug right now.”
- “Can you not?!?”
[inspired by this]
- “actually… i just miss you.”
- “alright, i’ll leave you alone.”
- “and slowly… i was forgotten.”
- “and then everything just disappears.”
- “and where do i go?”
- “anyone could tell from here.”
- “are you finishing that or…?”
- “are you stupid or stupid?”
- “anything, just call me, okay?”
- “bitch better have my money.”
- “bro… that’s so… not cool…”
- “but did you do it?”
- “call me now. it’s urgent.”
- “can’t you listen to me?”
- “cross that. don’t answer that.”
- “don’t even think about it.”
- “don’t you dare walk away.”
- “do it. i dare you.”
- “did you think i forgot?”
- “eventually… you just move on.”
- “even if you still do.”
- “everything will fall into place.”
- “fight me, you attractive stranger.”
- “for once, i need you.”
- “for once… i was right.”
- “for once… i was wrong.”
- “forget i even asked you.”
- “forget it. you fucking suck.”
- “fuck’s sake, what’s your problem?”
- “fuck off. i mean it.”
- “give and take. that’s life.”
- “great. perfect. nice. fuck this.”
- “have you lost your mind?”
- “hello? it’s me. i was-”
- “hey… that wasn’t so nice.”
- “here’s a glass of whatever.”
- “how about a hug, hm?”
- “how about you make me?”
- “i haven’t forgot you yet.”
- “i can’t be around you.”
- “i don’t need you, really.”
- “i don’t need this now.”
- “is this your first time?”
- “it’s just a cut, really.”
- “it wasn’t me, i swear!”
- “i said i love you.”
- “just don’t fuck it up.”
- “just… come back alive, okay?”
- “just make sure you’ve eaten.”
- “kick his ass for me.”
- “killed him? wait, what, literally?”
- “life really sucks. feel better.”
- “letting go hurts… a lot.”
- “let me live, will you?”
- “no, i don’t need you.”
- “nothing can hurt me now.”
- “nothing matters anymore to me.”
- “okay it was me… so?”
- “people lie all the time.”
- “pipe the fuck down, asshole.”
- “please, you can’t die now.”
- “please don’t leave me alone.”
- “quiet. they can hear us.”
- “quick! give me your phone!”
- “quicker, you freaking piece of-”
- “quit it or i’ll bite.”
- “quit staring! they’ll notice us!”
- “really? do i look stupid?”
- “real smooth, tripping over air.”
- “rise and shine, sweet thing.”
- “rise and fucking shine, motherfucker.”
- “seriously? give me a break.”
- “so… what are we now?”
- “so… did you miss me?”
- “so… can we go eat?”
- “so… when’s the next flight?”
- “so… how did everything go?”
- “sometimes, i wish you died.”
- “so what? you did it.”
- “time passes slower without you.”
- “then what do you suggest?”
- “the fuck? who are you?”
- “then you tell me why.”
- “this is not working out.”
- “this isn’t what i wanted.”
- “this is all a fucking disaster.”
- “when did it all happen?”
- “who knew you’d be here?”
- “why do i even bother?”
- “why do i love you?”
- “why didn’t you tell me?”
- “you’re just… so, so stupid.”
- “you can’t be here now.”
- “you look like an accident.”
- “you really need to go.”
- “you know who to call.”
- “zero fucks given. next please.”
my opinion on;character in general:
how they play them:
the mun:do i;rp with them:
want to rp with them:
ship their character with mine:what is my;overall opinion:
**Note: Mun’s answer are all to be completely honest. Don’t send url if you don’t want brutal honesty.
(Source: boysnsplinters-blog)
- “This really amuses me right now, maybe not in a few days, but let’s go with right now.”
- “Look at all the nerds. This is great.”
- “What team are you on?”
- “We can’t be friends any more, you picked Team ____.”
- “Do you know which way the _____ is?”
- “Oh hey there’s a ____ nearby…”
- “I know there’s a ____ here, and I WILL find it.”
- “THAT LITTLE SHIT JUST BROKE ALL MY POKEBALLS!
- “Red team’s best team.”
- “Wait stop there’s a Tauros right here.”
- “There’s a pokemon on your butt right now.”
- “GOT IT!”
- “I’m so sick of rats and worms…”
- “Servers are down again.”
- “This whole park is dominated by Red/Blue/Yellow.”
- “Get out of my gym.”
- “We gonna fight.”
- “I’m going on a pokemon adventure. I’ll be back eventually.”
- “I know there’s a pokemon there! I know it! I do!”
- “I have mastered the art of the drive by pokestop.”
- “Well if it’ll ever let me in…”
- “Damnit game crashed.”
- “GIVE ME MY POKEMON BACK!”
- “I hate zubat, they’re weird to catch.”
- “Hold on wait my egg is hatching.”
- “I’ll be here.”
- “Do you need me to slow down?”
- “Stop the car.”
obviously, if you know who comedian bo burnham is, you’ll know his work is satire frequently but this meme features slurs (sexist), and yeah. i shouldn’t have to explain that this is nsfw and probably should not be reblogged if you’re easily offended.
- I want you like J.F.K. wanted …. a car with a roof.
- You’re playing with your breasts, excuse me, can I try it ma'am? You’re pushin’ ‘em together like a titty venn diagram.
- Met a girl named Macy – had sex with her all day, but she was dyslexic, so I ended up doing the YMCA.
- Swallow, bitch, there’s people starving in Africa.
- I’ll slime you so hard you could be on Nickelodeon.
- “Hey, if you really believe that, why don’t you use some of your money to help rebuild the neighborhood instead of putting spinning rims on a gold jet ski?“ And to that I say… Uh.
- I hate my life and it hates me back.
- Your mother’s breasts sag with such severity that the late, great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.
- Bono, if you want to help poor people, sell your tinted shades, you cunt.
- In the name of the father, son and holy ghost, head, shoulders, knees and toes – turn up your nose, strike that pose. Hey, Macarena!
- The average penis length is 5-and-a-half inches, and finally, the average penis length of a man who Googles “average penis length” is 3-and-a-half inches.
- There’s other people, you selfish asshole.
- I’m a real G-shawty that can really find your G-spot …provided that you point me in the general direction.
- I met a homeless man named Rich – he wasn’t.
- I saw an old man get hit by a train, he didn’t see it in the pouring rain, he didn’t hear me shout, “look out for the train!“ 'cause I didn’t say anything.
- ART IS A LIE, NOTHING IS REAL.
- I went to a store looking for something to buy but they only sold paintings of the same sad guy, no, wait – this store sells mirrors.
- That’s it, laughter, it’s the key to everything, it’s the way to solve all the sadness in the world.
- The world isn’t sad. The world’s funny! I’m a sociopath!
- I saw an old man slip and fall-hey, what a fucking idiot!
- And then they’ll be gone and then you’ll be aware of that hole in your heart that that dumb slut left there.
- What the fuck did I do last night? I cried myself to sleep.
- I like the word poop cause when you say poop your mouth does the same motion your butthole does when it poops.
- I just- I internalize my feelings a lot. I have trouble articulating how I’m feeling to other people.
- So, basically, you’re still a little bitch.
- I like oreos and pussy – yes, in that order!
- I want her to trust me and I just want her to- how do I say this- sit on my face!
- You think you know everything but you don’t know anything at all.
- Well, according to my calculations, I’m sorry, let me run the numbers again, um, you’re a pussy.
- The people in my life are like grains of sand 'cause they stick together, often near my butt hole.
- If Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land?
- Art is a harlot and I am her sassy urban friend.
- Mmm, bitch, why you being so selfish?
- If life makes you wish you were dead, just put on a good movie, then promptly put a bullet in your head.
- I love your eyes and their blueish brownish greenish color.
- Um, I know we never talked or hung out ever, but um… I think that’s what made our friendship so special.
- Anyway, you wanna buy some weed?
- You’ve got sticks and stones to turn to but I’ve got words to hurt you, so, save your bullets cause you’re fucked.
- Your life peaked at graduation, well, congratu-fucking-lations.
- I was reading while you were fucking the prom queen.
- Pick one of these cards, and memorize it – then go fuck yourself!
- Is there anything better than pussy? Yes, a really good book.
- Oh sweet, my keys! Oh sweet, the remote! Oh sweet, my wallet! Oh sweet, my mom’s ashes!
- And here I am, trying to take a shit in privacy!
- Do you like Vampire Weekend?
- Nah, fuck that hipster shit!
- I’m so happy!
- Dear glove compartment, get a new name CAUSE NO ONE WEARS GLOVES ANYMORE.
- Don’t you hate it when you have to poop, but you can’t? Cause you’re not in the bathroom?
- Don’t you hate it when you call your girlfriend and she’s like “for the last time, I’m not your girlfriend, we met once at a party, how did you get this number”?
- The world is not funny, Guy Fieri owns two functioning restaurants.
- You wanna be happy, well, get in line.
- God only knows why he cursed me to be a straight white male.
- But you can’t say my life is easy until you’ve walked a mile in my uggs.
- Good girl in a straw hat with her arms out in a corn field: that is a scarecrow.
- It’s a fucking scarecrow again!
- Say the word “Truck” and they jizz in their overalls.
- You might think this person only exists in your mind and guess what: you’re right!
- You might think your dick is gift but I promise it’s not.
- If you search for moral wisdom in Katy Perry’s lyrics, then kill yourself.
- Honestly, are you fucking five?
- NO! BUT SEE I THINK THE ISSUE IS I’VE GOT MY FATHERS TEMPER AND I’M EMOTIONALLY INARTICULATE! SO RATHER THAN BEING HONEST AND VULNERABLE, I’VE DONE A QUICK SWITCH BECAUSE I’M HURTING INSIDE AND I’M TRYING TO HIDE IT, SO EAT A DICK, BITCH!
- YOU THINK THREE LOUSY TEARS OFFSETS THREE YEARS OF SHIT?
- What I’m trying to say is the diameter of Pringle cans is way too small.
- Do you fucking think I want a messy burrito? No one wants a messy burrito.
- I’ll blow my dad before I eat a burrito with a fork.
- On a scale from one to zero, are you happy?
- But what the fuck kind of question is “Am I happy?”
- You’re everything you hated, are you happy?
(Source: combatsituation-blog)
◤ ✕ ・。* send me 📞 and i’ll tell you…
- your muse’s contact photo in mine’s phone
- your muse’s name in mine’s phone
- your muse’s ringtone in mine’s phone
- how often our muses text
- what our muses normally text about
- our muses’ last few texts
- hey, i should bring (name) here! s/he’d love this place.
- three glorious months on the high sea…
- she was a lot nicer before she died.
- not to be insensitive, but are you blind?
- monkeys, monkeys, it’s full of the monkeys!!
- that’s the second biggest monkey head i’ve ever seen.
- could you please stop flinging boulders at my house?
- don’t say anything! you’ll cause a time paradox.
- why are there so many holes around the dartboard?
- was i the “pet monkey” in that last part?
- it’s good to see that (place) doesn’t mollycoddle it’s criminal elements.
- how do i get off this fuckin’ island?!
- i never did like those vicious piranha poodles.
- they called me the dartmaster 5000 in high school! or.. something that rhymed with that, anyway.
- but stan said i could!
- in three weeks, it taught (name) how to channel his/her destructive antisocial urges into more constructive avenues.
- here, fishy, fishy, fishy.
- don’t play smart with me, fleshbag.
- check out this doohickey.
- you’re nothing without your precious attack duck.
- you know, if i weren’t the peaceable sort, i’d whack that gentleman over the head with one of my sticks. and i wouldn’t stop whacking, until his brains leaked out all over my hand-polished rustic hardwood floor.
- some old guy with a weird accent accused me of stealing flowers from his front yard.
- hey, a talking monkey!
- aw, c’mon, let me take a plunge in a river of hot molten lava!
- i was kinda hoping you’d cave in to my incessant nagging.
- i may be evil, but i’m not crazy.
- evil needs no arms.
- i remember where i put my pants!
- you fight like a dairy farmer.
- ahh, the middle finger, the most communicative of fingers.
- that pig shaped bush frightens and confuses me.
- as showrooms go, i’d rate it a 78. it had a good beat, and i could dance to it.
- right! i’m trying to forget and now i remember. now i have to start all over, you miserable bastard.
- it’d be a lot easier if i could just bribe you.
- i think he’s still pretty cheesed off about the bank robbery.
- if it’s any comfort, i never found you all that fearsome to begin with.
- go pick a pack of posies.
- lua? whats a lua?
- pick up the moon? are you nuts?
- are you sure we can’t kill him? i’ve let him alive before, and it’s always been a big mistake.
- i was attacked by an army of koalas.
- i think i tossed a bon mot in a food fight once.
- how’d he get here, anyway?
- oh, the lava is hotter than a flame-broiled otter and my shoes are slowly melting to the fiberglass floor.
- what kind of a demonically evil scheme involves roller coasters and cotton candy, anyway?
- you know what else would look good on me? your blood, on my hands.
- what a scupper licker.
- that’s a tale of heart stopping malice, and evil.