some1 : wow the sc.arlet witch is so hot what a milf
tommy : hey yeah please never speak around me again
* — — VERY SERIOUS RIP VINE SENTENCE STARTERS
‘ when will you learn? when will you learn that your actionS HAVE CONSEQUENCES! ’
‘ can i get a waffle??? can i PLEASE get a waffle!!! ’
‘ go suck a dick, suck a dick suck a motherfucking dick ’
‘ you better stop! biTCH STOP ’
‘ do you ever like wake up and do something and you’re just like what the hec– fuck is goin on ’
‘ what’s good, brah you don’t know me! you don’t– WHAT IS GOOD! YOU DON’T KNOW! YOU DON’T KNOW ME! ’
‘ it’s summer i got my hat on backwards and it’s time to fucking party ’
‘ anyone ever tell you you look like beyonce? ’
‘ I LOVE YOU, BITCH. I AIN’T EVER GONNA STOP LOVING YOU BITCH ’
‘ BITCH I HOPE THE FUCK YOU DO YOU’LL BE A DEAD SON OF A BITCH, I TELL YOU THAT ’
‘ and they were roommates! ’
‘ oh my god, they were roommates ’
‘ oh my god, i love chipotle chipotle is my liiiiife ’
‘ this bitch empty YEET!!!! ’
‘ WHERE ARE THOOOOOSE ’
‘ THEY ARE MY CROCS ’
‘ bitch disgusting ’
‘ yeaaah. yeAAAAAH. ’
‘ so no head? ’
‘ THIS IS WHY MOM DOESN’T FUCKING LOVE YOU! ’
‘ i’ll kill you. i’ll kill you. i’m not even worried about it. ’
‘ ahh, fuck. i can’t believe you’ve done this ’
‘ aHH STOP! i could’ve dropped my croissant! ’
‘ what’s up me and my boys are going to see uncle kracker ’
‘ give me my hat back, jordan! ’
‘ do you wanna go see uncle kracker or no!? ’
‘ i sneezed! oh, i’m not allowed to sneeze?! ’
‘ look at all those chickens ’
‘ i smell like beef ’
‘ i gotta go home cause i forgot to… vacuum my room ’
‘ actually, megan, i can’t sit anywhere. i have hemorrhoids. ’
‘ is there anything better than pussy? yes! a really good book ’
‘ mom, i’m peein on myself ’
‘ sorry, i’m on the toilet. i hope the ice cream don’t melt, bitch ’
‘ honestly i don’t remember, i was probably fucked up. yeah, i was crazy back then ’
‘ I WON’T HESITATE, BITCH! ’
‘ just shut up and die slowly, okay? ’
‘ two bros chillin in a hot tub five feet apart cause they’re not gay! ’
‘ mother trucker, dude! that hurt like a butt cheek on a stick! ’
‘ i said WHOEVER THREW THAT PAPER, YOUR MOMS A HO ’
‘ you remember one time i liked you? GOOD! cause it never happened ’
‘ if your name is junior and you’re really handsome, come on raise your hand ’
‘ i’M WASHIN ME AND MY CLOTHES, BITCH! I’M WASHING ME AND MY CLOTHES ’
‘ waddup i’m jared, i’m nineteen, and i never fucking learned how to read ’
‘ whAT THE FUCK IS UP, KYLE? NO WHAT’D YOU SAY? WHAT THE FUCK, DUDE! STEP THE FUCK UP KYLE ’
‘ oh my god why can’t you just take the fricken compliMENT ’
‘ is that a wEED? i’m callin the police!!! ’
‘ yo, drink this vodka down the hatch c’mon ’
‘ it is wednesday, my dudes. aaaaAAAAAAH ’
‘ there is only one thing worst than a rapist… a child! ’
‘ get to del taco, they got a new thing called fre shavocado ’
‘ *to the tune of ghostbusters* i’m an adult virgin ’
‘ hi my name is tre, i have a basketball game tomorrooooow ’
‘ babeyou’reafuckingbitchiwantyoutogetthefuckoutofmycarcauseiwannabreakupwithyou i fucking hate you ’
‘ todays forecast we can clearly see that somebody got me fucked up. FUCKED. UP. ’
‘ whAT’S UP FUCKERS ’
‘ FUCK YOU, THAT’S WHY ’
‘ he needs some milk! ’
‘ you are my dad. YOU’RE MY DAD! boogie woogie woogie ’
‘ yEAH NO SHIT, HONEY ’
‘ oooooh my boy going to prom. fuck it up! fuck it up! fuck it up! ’
‘ hey, how you doin? i’m doing just fine. i lied. i’m dying inside ’
‘ honey, you got a big storm comin ’
‘ i wanna fucking DIE ’
‘ road work ahead? uh yeah i sure hope it does ’
‘ the yo-yo master did not answer, he just kept on yo-ing ’
‘ welcome back to me screaming ’
‘ you know sometimes i think to myself what are you waiting for you dumb stupid fuuuuuuck! ’
‘ do you ever shut the fuck up? ’
some1 : tommy takes most after his uncle , quicksilver .
me , an intellectual : tommy takes most after his grandfather , magneto .
STAGNANT AMONG THE STARS . fast , but not near fast enough . the destinations were wonders but the travel was draining . impatience springs in one of his legs & the tap of his heel against the ship’s floor sounds out a rapid patter . he must’ve been sitting for hours now ! a glance downwards at his phone . IT’S BEEN TEN MINUTES . a flourish of wind & he’s standing now on one side of the room . another comes a few seconds later & he’s on the opposite side . PACING LIKE A CAGED ANIMAL . the uncomfortable feeling of containment washes over him & he makes quick work to swallow it . he looks to his company at the craft’s controls . one moment the ship is all noh has in front of him then , by the next , there’s a speedster sitting across his lap . ❝ hey —— how much longer ‘til we get … y’know , somewhere ? ❞
i. ------ * @lonerage / liked .
